On Forgiveness

Blizzard may have ticked me off with RealID (okay, more like mildly irked but heavily concerned), but a new Cataclysm Screenshot reveals exactly why I love them anyway.

-Stormshrug

P.S.: Yes, this is tagged under 'Unforgivable Puns.'  Irony ensues.

On the Ordo Xenos (In Progress - Pt. I)

Commander Fyre (Pictured with Veteran Retinue)

Commander Fyre is a tenacious soldier and the consummate commanding officer.  By which I mean he has a really impressive beard.  Commander Fyre has served alongside Inquisitor Balerephos for two decades after being inducted for a 'three hour mission' to clear some Genestealers out of a dead Craftworld, but he has never once complained of this reassignment or the painful, painful injuries that it has caused him over the years.  Commander Fyre's stately demeanor and imposing facial hair help to keep the veterans under his command in order, even in the face of the horrible enemies of mankind and Inquisitor Balerephos' idiosyncracies.  Commander Fyre is usually accompanied by his Veteran Retinue and an Astropath.


Sergeant Ironheart

Sergeant Grafh 'Ironheart' Zefen is the leader of the 'Valar's Razors' Stormtrooper squads under Inquisitor Balerephos' command.  Sergeant Ironheart is a traditionalist, and sometimes clashes with the more unorthodox leadership and tactics of the 'Reaper Squad,' the Inquisitional Stormtroopers he serves alongside.  Still, his loyalty to the Imperium, and by extension, the Inquisitor, is unquestionable, especially after the Inquisitor risked his life and limb to save the 'Razors' on Khala, personally pulling the wounded Ironheart from the wreckage of a crashed Eldar tank and seeing to it that his damaged vital organs be replaced with augmentics.

'Valar's Razors' Squad, Imperial Storm Troopers

'Reaper' Squad, Inquisitorial Storm Troopers

The core members of the 'Reaper' Squad have been with Inquisitor Balrephos since he first reached the rank of full Inquisitor, although some of its members have changed during that time, and its number has risen from the usual 10 to an unorthodox 13.  Unswervingly loyal to Balerephos, the 'Reaper' Squad is usually split into three fighting forces.

'Scythe' Team

'Scythe' Team, one of the two fireteams usually made from the 'Reaper' Squad, is equipped with two Plasma Guns.  Typically, the 'Scythe' Team and the 'Harvest' Team spearhead an advance, supporting the Chimeras and Deathwatch Kill-Team from behind with their deadly firepower.

'Harvest' Team

'Shadow' Team

The 'Shadow' Team is comprised of the three best crack shots from the 'Reaper' Squad, armed with Plasma Guns, and all three of its members hold rank equivalent to the sergeants who lead the 'Scythe' and 'Harvest' teams.  This group almost unfailingly accompanies Inquisitor Balrephos into battle, never farther behind his advance than his actual shadow.

'Dreadwind' Vendetta Gunship

The 'Dreadwind' falls into the category of 'assets borrowed by Inquisitor Balerephos and then never returned.'  Its pilot, Ark Dartagan, may not be the finest Ace from the Imperial guard, but what he lacks in talent and experience he more than makes up for in sheer audacity.  Dartagan was inducted into Inquisitor Balerephos' forces when the Inquisitor asked for a pilot volunteer to deliver his Deathwatch troops into the heart of a Necron phalanx. 

Dartagan, at that point a cocky technician waiting his chance to become a pilot, volunteered when no pilot with any real combat experience would possibly consider doing so, and 'borrowed' a Valkyrie against his commanding officer's orders to carry the mission out.  Dartagan then proceeded to fly the Valkyrie directly towards the Necron monolith at speeds members of the Deathwatch Kill-Team later recalled as 'suicidal', and when he was inevitably shot down, crashed direction into the Monolith, opening a hole in its armor that later allowed Deathwatch Librarian Gabriel the Stern to plant a Meltabomb, destroying the foul contraption.  Dartagan narrowly survived this experience by bailing out at the last second  before impact (the Deathwatch team, miraculously, also landed unharmed) and then running around on the ground like a decapitated pterrachicken dodging Gauss Flayer shots until the Killteam settled matters with the Necrons. 

Inquisitor Balerephos then stepped in when the Commissar attached to Dartagan's unit attempted to execute him for his rash actions, inducting both the pilot and the nearest Gunship, a Vendetta called the 'Deathwind,' into his forces 'for the next few days.'  (By which he is generally understood to mean 'forever.')

'Nightcrash' Veteran Squad 

The 'Nightcrash' Veterans, also called 'Tal'shere's Raiders,' are a Veteran Squad under Commander Fyre, commanded by Sergeant Tal'shere.  They specialize in Stealth Demolitions, scouting ahead of the main force and destroying any installations or vehicles that would pose a problem.

'Cloudspear' Veteran Squad


[Image Coming in the Next Batch!]

The 'Cloudspear' Squad are armored assault Veterans under Commander Fyre, who usually operate from within a Chimera transport, and form the main thrust of any assault along with Inquisitor Balerephos.


Deathwatch Kill-Team Preview

To-Do List:

-Deathwatch Kill-Team
     -(3 members modeled but unassembled, 7 to go)

-Brother Charon

-Commissar Meredith Tahl

-Inquisitor Balerephos, and full Retinue

     -Acolyte Jenkins
     -Other Minions
     -Mystic/Chef Rylen Tarsas

-Sergeant Tal'shere

-Sergeant Fossman

-Co-opted Command Chimera ("Fortress of Indestructible Glory," also called "The FIG")

-Chimera ('Thunderhead')


-Stormshrug

On Poking the Bear (Druid)

So apparently, Blizzard has implemented plans to make your name - your actual name - visible on the forums whenever you post. 

Yes, in theory, it's supposed to combat this:

(Thanks, Penny-Arcade)

Practically, it's about as well thought out as Leeroy Jenkins' ill-fated dive into the Rookery of Blackrock Spire.  On the surface, it's the stupidest thing you've ever seen, but also like the Leeroy Jenkins video, there may be more going on that there appears to be (the video is staged, for comedy). 

I'm inclined to say that although I don't buy any of the conspiracy theories regarding this change, I also don't think that this is to fight forum trolling so much as it is to tie all of their products together more tightly, creating easier transitions from one to another in the days to come, when Blizzard will inevitably release a new MMO. 

Thankfully, this change will not apply retroactively to old posts.  I guess I'm not going to post in the forums any more, though (not that I really ever do).

Even more disturbingly, some addons can apparently read (and repeat to other people) your real name thanks to in-game RealID.  Awesome.  Guess I'm killing all my addons for the moment (not that I use so many).

But what's really interesting about this is that it's the biggest forum furor (which are always hilarious in and of themselves) I've seen since the second coming of Bus Shock, and impressively, this clusterf*ck may be even more... shall I say... Cataclysmic?


-Stormshrug

P.S.: I predict that by week's end, either Blizzard has addressed this issue or it has become clear that people really don't care that much.  Still, it's an impressive storm brewing on the forums.

Update #1 (7/7/2010):

Well, the sh*t is really flying now, and Godwin's law has hit the forum hard regarding Blizzard's liberal application of the banhammer.  Inevitable V for Vendetta comparisons are being made, as they always are whenever the internet gets angry.  The official thread on Battle.net changes is over 1,000 pages long.  Blizzard has also made clear that this change is part of their long-term plans, and seems to be holding firm on the issue.  It'll be interesting to see where things go from here.

Some interesting points have been raised in the debate, the most valid of which, I think, is that this change has some disturbing ramifications for those whose real names reveal a great deal about their identities.  Of course, the standard response from supporters has been "don't post, don't have your name revealed," but while technically true, this answer is laden with unfortunate implications about how people who fear being victimized should be silent.

Update #2:  And lo, by Friday night, it has been retracted.  Real names will not be displayed on the forums.

On Mediocrity

So, according to reviews, the new film inspired by Avatar: The Last Airbender is ANYTHING but mediocre.  It's running an 8% on Rotten Tomatoes as of this post (this may fluctuate a bit, of course).  To put an 8% in perspective, Manos the Hands of Fate has 0% on RT, but apparently even the Mystery Science Theater guys couldn't make that one watchable.  Friggin' Dragonball Evolution has a 13%, however.  So 8% really blows.

I am now going to say something radical.  This is a good thing.

Well, that's not quite true.  It's not a good thing.  But it's a less bad thing than a mediocre adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender would have been.  Here's my logic:

With our 20/20 hindsight from after this film, we can now see that M. Night Shamwow's glory days are beyond all reasonable likelihood behind him.  As such, we can say with a fair amount of certainty that he was not going to turn his career around with this film.  It was simply never in the cards that 'The Last Airbender' would be a good movie under his creative direction.  So, at "best," it would have been mediocre and forgettable instead of being a train wreck.

However, I don't want a mediocre ATLA movie.  I want a good ATLA movie.  And, I strongly suspect that the chances of a good live-action adaptation happening in the next decade or so are greatly improved by this recent turn of events.

You see, when a famous franchise has a movie and it's mediocre, it gets swept under the rug.  Think about 'Daredevil.'  'Daredevil' was a passable film, if not a good one.  It didn't do anything violently wrong, it just didn't really do anything right.  It pulled a 44% on RT, which isn't good, but isn't a total disaster.  And then the franchise sort of disappeared, and I guarantee we won't see another Daredevil film until the next superhero fad revival in 30 years or so.  I don't care, but fans of Daredevil kind of got the shaft.

Then look at the 'Hulk' movie from 2003.  It outscored Daredevil on RT, but it royally cocked up the Hulk's lore, alienating fans and performing poorly at the box office.  While it was not considered a terribly bad film by critics, the people who mattered - fans - reviled it.  And lo, only five years later, the franchise was rebooted with 'The Incredible Hulk.'  Which was a vast improvement in many regards, but still a mediocre film, so we won't be hearing from the Hulk for another 30 years or so.

Do I expect to see another Avatar: The Last Airbender film go into production in the next few months?  Of course not.  Hell, I don't think it's even that likely that it will go into production in the next decade.  But if 'The Last Airbender' had been mediocre, I think there would be NO possibility.  And if not a film, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw Nickelodeon push something else into production to reinvigorate the franchise.  Heck, maybe that's what the rumored 'Legend of Korra' project is.  'The Last Airbender' is not going to give the franchise the momentum it needs, but honestly, I now strongly suspect that it never could have anyway.  And with any luck, its pyre will create fertile soil where something better can take root.

Of course, this may only be wishful thinking on my part.  It's crossed my mind that this colossal failure could torpedo the franchise going forward.  But it seems that the vast majority of reviews, while negative on the film, were positive about the source material.

-Stormshrug

On Walls of Text

I tend to blather on.  A lot.

I was thinking of trying to be more concise sometimes.

-Stormshrug

On DIY Space Marine Chapters ('AN EPIC CHALLENGE OF MANLINESS')

 I discovered the 'Space Marine Chapter Name Generator' over at Bolter and Chainsword a while back, and it's been a source of much amusement for me.

I now propose a game.  Hit the random name generator until you laugh (or at least crack a smile).  When you laugh, you have to come up with fluff or the chapter.  Let me demonstrate:

First button press: Purple Wizards.  Heh.

Wow, that was quick.

Um, let's see.  The Purple Wizards are a loyalist chapter from a relatively late founding, based on the geneseed of the Blood Angels.  As such, a larger proportion of their chapter than usual are psykers, and they tend to hone these abilities instead of the usual focus on melee strike forces that traditionalist Blood Angels favor.  After their founding, they built their fortress-monastary on the remote world of Indigo.  Though originally named the 'Red Bloodmurderers' by a particularly zealous and uncreative Chapter Master,  the Purple Wizards changed their name after an incident where the entire First Company repainted its armor purple for better camoflauge amongst the giant, highly toxic flowers that cover much of Indigo's surface during the spring and fall (which last 4/5ths of the year because of its orbit).  After crushing a massive but poorly camoflauged contingent of Khornate cultists and Chaos Space Marines with their ambush tactics and psychic abilities despite being massively outnumbered, the entire chapter was repainted purple in the First Company's honor, and renamed the 'Purple Wizards.'  Most members of the chapter were happy to see the name 'Red Bloodmurderers' go, despite the general concensus amongst its members that the 'Purple Wizards' was not much better.

Now if only I could draw at all well, I'd whip up some funny pictures to go along with this.

-Stormshrug

P.S.: I just got 'Dancing Gators' to pop up as a name.  Followed by the 'Psi Hornets.'  25H, you need to get on this!

On Inquisitors and Guardsmen

"What have we here?" Inquisitor Balerephos asked his majordomo, First Acolyte Leroi.

Leroi looked up from his recaff, dour-faced as always during the hours before the sun normally rises.

"Well, sir, these guardsmen were cut down by Tyranids.  This command squad was caught during the retreat."

"I see.  But it appears that the officer was not actually hit by any of the fleshborer rounds."  The Inquisitor crunched some of the dead, beetle-like creatures under his foot for emphasis.

"No sir.  However, this legion had been known for a lack of discipline.  You can see that one of the commander's retinue actually tried to escape, fleeing his post.  You can tell by the wounds on his back, and the fact that he made it a bit farther than the rest of his squad.  Ironically, he had been charged with carrying the regimental banner, for morale.  These banners aren't light.  And when he dropped the regimental banner, it fell on his commanding officer.  The bronze wing on the side impaled him, fatally from the looks of it.  Right through his skull, killing him in an instant.  With the commander dead, it's no wonder the rest of these troops were routed."

"I see.  Well I guess you could say this is what happens when..."

The Inquisitor trailed off briefly, and pulled a pair of solar-optic lenses from his front pocket, fitting them over his normal glasses to shield his eyes from the rising sun.  Looking down at the corpse, he continued,

"...you let standards fall."

-Stormshrug