On Ultramarines (A Spoiler-Free Review)

So, I don't do as many reviews as some of the other blaggers in our circle, (I personally find them a bit dry to write), but I promised to put up some thoughts about the Ultramarines movie when I watched it, so here we go.

Here is a 'Rome's Rapid Rubric*' breakdown of the movie:

Action/Fanservice/Plot:
7/0**/4

*[Note that Rome's Rapid Rubric only accounts for these factors by volume, not by quality. This is particularly important for 'plot,' which is 'how complicated is the plot,' and not 'how good is the plot.'  Inception is a 6 in plot, while Primer is a 9, but this doesn't mean Primer is "better" - it just packs more "goings-on" into the time it has.]

**[In the RRR, Fanservice ONLY denotes sexually-oriented fanservice.  Other kinds of fanservice certainly exist, but are too nebulous to deal with in this intentionally over-simplified metric.]

I went in with a very specific set of expectations, and I was satisfied.  I expected to see the Ultramarines kick some ass, and the film did not disappoint in that regard.  The plot was pretty solid and though it was in no way revolutionary it was a more than serviceable as a vehicle for the main event (the action).  It wasn't excessively predictable - the 'plot summary' that TG built from the trailers alone proved to be wrong (warning: Spoilers, Nerdrage, Misinformation, and Heresy regarding the possible divinity of John Hurt) so that's something, at least.

("The Action," courtesy Bell of Lost Souls)

The CG was the part of the film that your average person will probably have the most trouble with.  It was far from photorealistic, but they tried hard enough that it slipped into the uncanny valley at times.  Personally, I would have gone with more stylized CG instead of attempting photorealism with an insufficient budget.  The long and short of it is that machines (power armor, vehicles, etc) all look pretty good, and faces look kind of... off.  If you can get over that, though, you can probably enjoy the visuals - they are quite detailed, and at times they can be pretty impressive.  Just don't go in expecting Tron: Legacy or a modern-day Blizzard cinematic and you won't be disappointed.  The characters also wear helmets for much of the film, which helps a bit.

For Warhammer 40k fanatics, however, the slightly outdated (if pretty well-implemented) visuals are not going to be the major point of contention.  No, as forums have shown already, the greatest source of RAAAAEG is "Why Isn't This Movie About My Army of Choice?" syndrome.  However, before you post yet another thread about how "overpowered" the Ultramarines were in this movie and how it's really the Blood Angels/Space Wolves/White Scars/Rainbow Warriors/Imperial Guard/Adeptus Janitorius who are the real heroes of the Imperium and deserve this kind of attention, remember this little fact about Warhammer 40k: every faction gets to be the 'big heroes' in their own novels, comics, stories, etc.  If they make more movies, of course, I'd like to see them branch out from the Ultramarines, but it's not a bad starting place, either.

So I think that's how I'll sum it up.  It was a good start.  I wasn't floored by it, but I enjoyed watching it - I'll almost certainly watch it again sooner or later.  I don't know if it was commercially successful (I somehow doubt it, but who knows), but if Codex Pictures makes another Warhammer 40k film, I'll want to pick it up.  Unless it's about the Blood Angels.  F*ck those Mary Sues and their sparkly bishounen vampire crap.

-Stormshrug

On DIY Space Marine Chapters ('AN EPIC CHALLENGE OF MANLINESS')

 I discovered the 'Space Marine Chapter Name Generator' over at Bolter and Chainsword a while back, and it's been a source of much amusement for me.

I now propose a game.  Hit the random name generator until you laugh (or at least crack a smile).  When you laugh, you have to come up with fluff or the chapter.  Let me demonstrate:

First button press: Purple Wizards.  Heh.

Wow, that was quick.

Um, let's see.  The Purple Wizards are a loyalist chapter from a relatively late founding, based on the geneseed of the Blood Angels.  As such, a larger proportion of their chapter than usual are psykers, and they tend to hone these abilities instead of the usual focus on melee strike forces that traditionalist Blood Angels favor.  After their founding, they built their fortress-monastary on the remote world of Indigo.  Though originally named the 'Red Bloodmurderers' by a particularly zealous and uncreative Chapter Master,  the Purple Wizards changed their name after an incident where the entire First Company repainted its armor purple for better camoflauge amongst the giant, highly toxic flowers that cover much of Indigo's surface during the spring and fall (which last 4/5ths of the year because of its orbit).  After crushing a massive but poorly camoflauged contingent of Khornate cultists and Chaos Space Marines with their ambush tactics and psychic abilities despite being massively outnumbered, the entire chapter was repainted purple in the First Company's honor, and renamed the 'Purple Wizards.'  Most members of the chapter were happy to see the name 'Red Bloodmurderers' go, despite the general concensus amongst its members that the 'Purple Wizards' was not much better.

Now if only I could draw at all well, I'd whip up some funny pictures to go along with this.

-Stormshrug

P.S.: I just got 'Dancing Gators' to pop up as a name.  Followed by the 'Psi Hornets.'  25H, you need to get on this!