A list of my favorite media-type-things that don't exist in our universe, in no particular order:
-A good film version of Beowulf.
-An anime retelling of The Iliad in space with GIANT ROBOTS.
-A series/movie/weekly radio show/whatever in which everybody is voiced by Alucard or Emperor Wakamoto or BOTH.
-A 20 page paper on how Beowulf fails to use weapons properly on my hard-drive.
-Ciaphas Cain: The Musical.
Possibly more to come if I manage to actually survive creating ONE of these...
(Note: Sadly, it is NOT Ciaphas Cain: The Musical that is due at noon on Friday).